Couples urged to be open about topic that stays taboo for many

Experts say it is the secrecy that causes problems

People are too embarrassed to share financial struggles with the people closest to them, leaving many to hide debt from a partner. Couples say they are more likely to say “I love you”, move in together or even get engaged before having an honest conversation about money, new research commissioned by Creditspring reveals.

Creditspring is calling on couples to be more open in their communication to help boost their financial resilience after nearly half of people said money is one of the hardest topics to discuss in a relationship, with many also admitting that money causes concerns between partners.

Less than one in ten said they first discussed their earnings during the first few dates, while only 11% did so within the first month. For many couples, money is a completely taboo topic. Almost one in five surveyed say they refuse to talk about money altogether. Other hidden financial behaviours include keeping savings private, using credit without telling a partner and hiding personal debt, loans or borrowing.

Tamsin Powell, Consumer Finance Expert at Creditspring, said: “Money is tied up with security and self-worth, so it is understandable that couples can put these conversations off. But debt or financial struggles do not automatically damage a relationship, what tends to cause the real harm is finding out that something has been hidden.

“People may want a partner to be honest about what they spend, whether they can afford a plan, or whether they are using credit, but fear of judgment, embarrassment and the pressure to appear financially secure can make it easier to postpone the conversation than start it.

“Our research shows that people do not need identical salaries to feel financially compatible, instead what they value is honesty, shared goals and a sense that they are tackling decisions together. Financial intimacy is not about handing over every bank statement on a first date. It is about making space to be truthful as the relationship becomes more serious-especially if money is tight, credit is involved or one person is carrying debt.”

Tamsin shared practical tips to help couples make money conversations feel more manageable:

1. Talk about goals before focusing on salaries: Ask what each of you wants money to help with: building savings, clearing debt, buying a home, travelling or having more breathing room each month. Shared direction matters more than matching incomes.
2. Start with the next shared decision: You do not need to cover every detail in one conversation. Start with what is directly ahead, whether that is a holiday, moving in together, household bills or a major purchase.
3. Agree what fair looks like for both of you: An equal split is not always the fairest split. If incomes, caring responsibilities or existing commitments differ, talk openly about an arrangement that feels manageable on both sides.
4. Treat honesty as the expectation, not a confession: Debt, spending and credit use should not be treated as moral failings. However, hiding them can undermine trust. The aim is not perfection; it is clarity and an agreed plan.
5. Seek support before pressure builds: If money is becoming difficult to manage, it is better to explore options early than wait until a bill, holiday or shared cost becomes unmanageable. Look for support that is transparent about costs and helps you stay in control.