Many people are turning to Direct Funerals to say goodbye to a loved one -a funeral director has now shared a video to show exactly what happens
A funeral director has shared exactly what happens at a service without family or friends. Many people are turning to a Direct Funeral for various reasons – from family and friends living a long way off through to the person themselves “not wanting a fuss”.
Last week plans were approved for a mortuary in York which would hold 700 bodies, stacking bodies five coffins high for three to four days before cremation takes place. The company said it would serve the needs of people who needed their loved one’s remains collecting “without delay”.
However objectors said it was “inappropriate for bodies to be stored on mass at an industrial facility with 700 deceased which entails all forms of risks”. Others said it was “undignified” for the deceased person.
Several funeral directors have since pointed out that not all Direct Funerals are impersonal. They said those provided by local services are very different with the person being treated with the same dignity and respect as those having a traditional service.
And now one, T Allen Funeral Service in Kent, has made a video to show exactly what happens throughout the journey to help give people an insight into the process. James Hunt, of T. Allen Funeral Service, explained: “We realised that there were lots of questions and, in some cases, quite a few misconceptions about what a Direct Funeral actually involves.
“We wanted to show people honestly what happens because, when you’re making funeral arrangements, particularly at a very difficult time, you shouldn’t have to guess what is going to happen to the person you love.
“A Direct Funeral isn’t right for every family. For some people, having a traditional funeral, a hearse, a service and the opportunity for family and friends to be there is incredibly important, and we completely understand that. But there are also families who, for a whole variety of personal reasons, choose a Direct Funeral.
“Sometimes that choice was actually made by the person themselves before they passed away. We believe those families deserve exactly the same care, dignity and respect as anyone else.”
Mark Allen, also of T. Allen Funeral Service, explained the service included touches that are familiar at traditional ones – including bowing to the person inside the coffin. He said: “The bow isn’t something we do because someone is watching. It’s something we’ve always done as a mark of respect, and we do it whether there is a family there or not.
“When we take someone into our care, they are somebody’s mum, dad, husband, wife, partner, brother, sister or friend. The fact that there may not be anyone standing there at the crematorium doesn’t change that.
“We still take the same care with them. We still treat them with dignity. And we still feel that they deserve our respect right through to the point where we hand them into the care of the crematorium.”
The firm has now also answered some questions to explain exactly what a Direct Funeral is – and what it means.
What is a Direct Funeral?
“A Direct Funeral is a simpler form of funeral arrangement where there is no traditional funeral service attended by family and friends at the time of the cremation. That doesn’t mean that the person is treated any differently.
“At T. Allen Funeral Service Limited, once we are instructed, we bring the person into our own care centre, where they are cared for in our mortuary facilities. We complete the necessary arrangements and paperwork, provide a coffin and make sure the person is properly identified and looked after throughout.
“Our care centre is an important part of how we operate. It is not an industrial building simply used for storage. It is a working part of our business, where our team works every day. It includes our mortuary, coffin workshops and vehicle workshops, as well as a small office, and it complements our other T. Allen branches.
“We collect people into our care as soon as we are able to and, from that point onwards, they remain in our care until they are taken to the crematorium.
“We always dress the person in a gown. Families can also provide personal items such as photographs, letters or small keepsakes to go with their loved one. If there is something particularly personal, such as a favourite piece of clothing, we can discuss with the family how that can be included.
“We use a local crematorium and the family is told where and when the Direct Funeral will take place. Two members of our team attend the crematorium and personally take the coffin into the chapel.
“We take the coffin through the front entrance of the chapel, just as we would for an attended funeral. We don’t simply leave someone at a back entrance. And, as people will see in our video, we bow before leaving.
“That isn’t something we do for the camera. It is something we do at every funeral, whether a family is present or not. For us, it is simply a mark of respect.”
Who chooses a Direct Funeral?
“There isn’t really one particular type of person or family who chooses a Direct Funeral.” siad the firm.” Sometimes it is the family who feels that a traditional funeral isn’t right for them. But just as importantly, it can be the wishes of the person who has passed away.
“Some people simply don’t want a fuss. They may have told their family that they don’t want a large funeral, don’t want people gathering at a crematorium and don’t want their family to feel that they have to arrange a traditional funeral on their behalf.
“Others may have wanted a simple cremation with their family coming together to remember them separately at another time. There can also be practical reasons. Family members may live a long way away, or circumstances may make a traditional funeral difficult.
“We think it is important not to make assumptions about why someone has chosen a Direct /Unattended Funeral. Choosing one doesn’t mean that someone didn’t care about their funeral or that their family doesn’t care about them. Sometimes it is simply the person’s own wish to have something simple and private.”
What is the difference between a Direct Funeral and an attended funeral?
The firm explained: “The biggest difference is that an attended funeral involves family and friends being present at the funeral itself. With an attended funeral, there will normally be a hearse and bearers, family and friends may follow or meet at the crematorium, and there will usually be a service or ceremony where people can say their goodbyes.
“With a Direct Funeral, there is no procession or attended service at the time of the cremation. We normally use our private ambulance rather than a hearse, and two members of our team take the person into the crematorium.
“That simpler arrangement is one of the reasons a Direct Funeral can cost less than a traditional attended funeral. However, the difference is in the nature of the funeral and who is present — not in the level of care we provide to the person.”
What are the benefits of a Direct Funeral?
They said: “For some people, the biggest benefit is simply that it is what they wanted. Someone may have made it clear during their lifetime that they didn’t want a fuss, didn’t want a large gathering and didn’t want their family to have to arrange an elaborate funeral for them. A Direct Funeral can allow those wishes to be respected.
“For others, the simplicity is the attraction. The family can separate the cremation from the occasion when they want to remember and celebrate someone’s life.
“They might choose to hold a memorial service or celebration of life later, perhaps somewhere that has particular meaning to them, and have their family and friends together without everything having to revolve around the cremation.
“It can also provide a simpler and lower-cost option for families who don’t want or need a traditional funeral service. But we would never say that a Direct Funeral is better than an attended funeral. There isn’t one right way to say goodbye.
“For some people, having the hearse arrive at the house, seeing their loved one brought into the chapel, hearing a eulogy and being surrounded by family and friends is incredibly important. We completely understand that.
“Ultimately, the most important thing is that the wishes of the person who has passed away are understood and, where possible, respected – whether they wanted a traditional funeral surrounded by family and friends or something much simpler. Our job is to explain the choices clearly and then make sure that, whatever is chosen, the person is looked after properly and with dignity.”
Why do you make the Direct Funeral videos?
They said: “We decided to make the videos because we realised that people simply didn’t know what happened during a Direct Funeral. There were questions about where the person was taken, how they were cared for, what happened at the crematorium and whether the same level of respect was shown when there was no family present.
“We felt the best way to answer those questions was to show people. The video isn’t intended to suggest that a Direct Funeral is right for everyone. It is about giving people information so they can understand the choices available to them.”
