Hitting 50 is one of life’s biggest milestones – and Kelly Clarke decided to celebrate by having IVF to become a first time mother.
Now aged 55, she says that using a donor egg and sperm to welcome a little girl, who she named Lyla Rae, is one of the best decisions she ever made.
She said: ‘Even though UK doctors called me geriatric, I had no medical problems at all.
‘I was at my peak fitness when I conceived and I had the most amazing pregnancy, feeling her inside me was my dream come true.’
Ms Clarke, who lives in Crawley, Sussex, decided it was time to explore motherhood after enjoying a 23-year career working as an air stewardess and then holding senior positions at Gatwick Airport.
After being made redundant during the pandemic, she was forced to turn to universal credit before retraining as a swim teacher.
In 2020, she travelled to Athens to undergo IVF, spending just under £3,000 including flights and accommodation.
She chose to use an anonymous sperm donor so that she wouldn’t have to co-parent and could bring Lyla up exactly how she wanted to.
Kelly Clarke with her daughter Lyla Rae, who was born in March 2021 following Greek IVF
Lyla, now five, was born in March 2021 weighing 7lbs 8oz.
She said: ‘I conceived with a donor egg and donor sperm as the clinician said it was too risky to use my eggs and the official recommendation was a donor.
‘I trusted the experts completely.
‘She is not my egg but she is mine, I grew her and without me she wouldn’t be here.’
Since becoming a mum, Ms Clarke has encountered some struggles, particularly as a single mum, but feels being older helped her overcome the challenges.
‘I don’t think I would have done as well as I am now if I was a younger mum, it would have been different and I would have made it work, but I wouldn’t have been able to do as much,’ she said.
‘For me at this point of my life, I don’t look at her and think “I need a babysitter so that I can go out and do things”.
‘I’ve done the partying, I’ve done the flying, I’ve travelled, I’ve swam with sharks, I’ve done so much and I can show her all the pictures.
Ms Clarke after welcoming her much longed-for baby
‘Now I can share the experiences with Lyla and I’m not looking at her wishing her life away just so I can get mine back.
‘My life is being a mummy and I’m living my best life.’
What has helped Ms Clarke is that she managed to pay off her mortgage in full just before Lyla’s first birthday, leaving her salary from working as a teaching assistant at Lyla’s school to be spent solely on family life.
She said: ‘When I became a mum I needed a good set up, so I went and sorted the good set up myself.
‘I want to spend as much time as possible with Lyla Rae, I don’t want other people picking her up or dropping her off because that’s my job, so I went out to find something that fits around our schedule.
‘Lyla is amazing, I am so lucky. She is in reception at school and reads and writes so well, she knows my phone number, she is polite and kind.
‘She is so chatty and a proper storyteller, just like me.’
Ms Clarke is sharing her story days after a new study linked lower rates of IVF success in older women with womb-related ageing.
Researchers at IVIRMA Global Research Alliance, an assisted reproduction institute in Italy, have found that older women have a lower chance of successful fertility treatment even when using eggs donated by younger women – with success rates falling sharply from around the age of 49.
She recommends becoming a mother later in life to all her friends
The findings challenge the widespread belief that donor eggs can effectively ‘reset’ a woman’s reproductive clock. Researchers suggest that age-related changes to the womb lining may make it more difficult for an embryo to implant and develop successfully.
The study, involving 1,774 women, identified the age of 49 as a potential tipping point, after which the risks associated with treatment may begin to outweigh the benefits despite the use of young donor eggs.
Compared with women aged between 35 and 40, those over 49 were significantly less likely to have a live birth and had more than twice the odds of suffering a miscarriage.
The findings come as increasing numbers of women undergo fertility treatment later in life. Figures from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, the UK’s fertility regulator, show that the number of women in their fifties having IVF with donor eggs has risen by 67 per cent over the past decade.
Ms Clarke is happy to encourage other women to look into becoming mothers later in life.
‘I’ve spoken to a few friends who were umming and ahhing about it and I would 100 per cent recommend doing it,’ she said.
‘You’ll regret not doing it as once that baby is here, the love is worth everything and you’ll think thank goodness I did it.
‘I couldn’t recommend it enough to anyone who was thinking about having a kid – just do it.
‘At the end of the day you’re as old as you feel.’
Experts often highlight that older mothers face increased risks – as do their unborn children, who are more likely to have genetic conditions.
But Ms Clarke claims she experienced minimal side effects.
‘All I suffered from were migraines but I already suffered from them and I couldn’t take my normal medicine,’ she said.
‘The only cravings were strawberries and pineapple and the only thing that got fat were my ankles.’
